Just like there is always another bus, though, there is always another house.

And another source of internet to talk with the people who are providing you with that house.

The search for a place to live in Austin continued, but having averted the previous experiencia peligroso I felt a new sense of calm and trust.  I was going to find something better.  It was just one craigslist email away.

That's how I found a house with the most supportive and inclusive roommates :]

Even though I'm out of the country they wanted me FIRST and then included me in night after night of Facetime calls to screen the people to fill the position of the one other roommate.

One of these nights, there was a big storm and the internet went out right in the middle of one of the interviews.

Well, there's always another option, I thought to myself as I marched out of the house and into the rain with my umbrella and my subway sandwich stuffed into my purse.
I got about 100 meters down my dirt street when I saw that the gate was open at my old landlady's house.

"Upe!" I called into the house as the CR way of saying "Excuse me, I need something outside your door."

She came out and I explained that I had something important to do on the internet and she showed me into the closet in her garage where there was a chair, a hanging piece of carpet art of a horse, and even a fan.  There, I got back on the call and finished the interview with the girl that will now be my future roommate.

What crazy stories I have from applying to graduate school, interviewing, and then finding housing while abroad.  Story gold.

In the Closet

*Random side note - one of the guys we talked to (me through facetime being pointed at the computer and him on the computer from somewhere else - looking at me on the phone) was in the Peace Corps in Senegal with a girl that used to live here in Quepos.  Very small world.  

Applying for a House Culture Shock

... or how trying to rent a room in a house is harder than getting into grad school.

About two weeks ago, I suddenly felt the pressing need to look for a place to live in Austin NOW!  My pura vida attitude parted for a moment and I realized that if I didn't start looking now, there probably wouldn't be anything that I wanted left when I got to the US.

So, in what felt like a day of complete frustration and lack of productivity... I started combing craigslist for options.  I didn't even know where to start.  I didn't know what neighborhoods were what or what price ranges were good.  The first day, pretty much all I did was start matching adds to a map of neighborhoods I downloaded.  Then, I got overwhelmed and shut down.  Finding a place to live has always been scary for me (for some reason) and doing it from another country just felt impossible.

But then, my good friend Ramona, and I met to hang out at Subway and she pushed through the block with me.  She pulled up adds on her tablet and we found one that stood out.  It was a cute house of grad students in a nice neighborhood with a very detailed description.  This gave me hope.

I emailed them and didn't hear back for a few days.

So, I emailed again.

This is where the adventure starts.

I received an overly expressive email with tidbits like:

 "You will not find a house in HydePark for a long term lease for $400.  That landlord would be a fool to rent thusly or the house, if it exists, is run down and the posting is misleading--in either case it's fradulent. Those are notoriously scammers, perverts, or evangelics looking to lure folks to save their souls.  When you think about my description of their M.O. , it will make sense to you that that is what they are doing to the unsuspecting persons looking for a good deal."

"Although I understand your logic in wanting to see photos, you have already seen how cute the house is by the few postings on Craigslist.  Because I know that the houses are clean, well maintained, I know that the  house is the least important aspect, so we stick with the order of the process.  I don't invest time with anyone until they are willing to put "skin in the game" to show us they are even worth dealing with from two aspects: 
1) first you have to prove to me/us that you will qualify financially or it isn't worth my time or yours frankly.  It's the same with real estate.  If you can't afford a house, the realtor isn't going to waste his/her time showing you a house you can't afford. 

2) if the roommates don't like you over another candidate, it's irrelevant whether the house is good or not.  We focus first on making sure the person who is interested is a good fit for the others who will be living there.  The house is the last piece of the puzzle.  I/we place very descriptive narrative and a few photos on CL so the viewer knows what they're getting and can see the house is clean, well maintained and see immediately that the poster on CL knows what the heck he/she is doing as a landlord or roommate.  I am assuming that you  are already attracted to the house or you would not have (or should not have) bothered to reply.  So after parts 1 & 2 are completed, and you seem to be a good fit, then you'll see detailed photos and a floorplan of the house."

"Actually, it's taken me way too long to even answer these questions, but since you're out of the US and replied nicely, I thought I would try to help you see the logic in the process."

Now, one might say OBVIOUSLY this is a crazy situation and get out now... but maybe it was the lack of control I felt by being so far away and the fear of not finding anything that caused me to continue traveling down this rabbit hole with a woman who claimed to be the "property manager."

So, I responded kindly that I would like to continue the process and didn't hear back for two days.
Then, I got a short email randomly signed by a different person, Ellen, saying she was "out of pocket."  The next day she explained, "Thanks for your patience.  I am the landlord, Ellen.   Khrysten is really busy and asked me to take over to help speed our process." 

It wasn't until way later in this wild ride that I realized the property manager and the owner had to be the same person because nobody could have someone as crazy as them as an assistant who writes in the same ridiculous voice.

Anyways, away we go... venturing deeper down the rabbit hole.  I fill out a questionnaire that may have been more detailed than my university application itself.  It has questions like, "describe passive aggressive behavior and  how you have handled it in the past."  It has you initial next to statements like, "I agree to maintain my assigned section of the yard from this point to this point with the weed killer specified by the landlord" and "I agree to wash the dishes in the sink and then place them to dry in the dishwasher."  I attach a picture as if it were a job application for an acting gig and send it off, thinking WOW... I really am not used to this level of obsessive behavior - I must really forget how the US is.  Chalking it up to culture shock, I went on with my day, hoping I'd get accepted to the house as one of the 5 roommates.

That's not the end, though.

When I had filled out enough questionnaires and forms to satisfy this woman and she finally sent me a floor plan and more photos, I saw that the room was not even 10x10.  I asked her if I could ask the other roommates to place my keyboard in one of the common areas with headphones as not to bother anyone.  She responded that there was NO room for new furniture anywhere outside of your room.  She then suggested not bringing it, asking how much I played it anyway.  "Have you considered the possibility of leaving it with your friend in Tucson for this year?  I guess it also depends on how much time you realistically play it daily or weekly??"

She also responded to my question about termination of the lease by saying, "Death is an unlikely event that may or may not require a person to have to both leave school and leave the city permanently.  Such an event as death would be addressed when it occurred and there are provisions in the lease for significant costs to be paid by the tenant, and ONLY if the landlord gave written permission.  In every case in the past where I allowed subleasing, for example, I was burned and experienced significant loss of time and money.  As a result, I no longer grant such permission."

I freaked out about this but let it go as an unlikely occurrence over the next year.  I told her I wanted to continue the process and asked if  I could have the actual address to which she responded,  "A close intersection is E. 46th St. and Red River if you are interested in knowing how far the house is from a UTbus stop  and distance to the UT campus.  If that location is not close enough toUT for you, we should definitely stop the process right now."

At this point, I had pretty much had it with the absurdity of the situation.  Who was she to micromanage me to the point of deciding whether or not it was important to me to bring my keyboard!!!!? This same afternoon, I got a facebook message from a friend that graduated from UT responding to my question about good neighborhoods to live in.  He said that Hyde Park was good, but to watch out for a crazy landlord there.  Dun dun dun.....

This jogged my memory back to the beginning of the process when I told another friend at UT that I found a house in Hyde Park.  She was excited but said something about a crazy landlord there that lives in the house with the students and abuses them.  I had brushed it off as a different situation and had not remembered what she had said until now.

My guardian angles went to work overtime researching this situation... within an hour my friend had found out the first and last name of the landlord from another grad student and that grad student was already texting me telling me "Whatever you do... DON'T do it!!!!"

In the meantime I wrote back to Ellen, moving my pieces to call "checkmate" on her game.

"Good afternoon Ellen,

I was not worried about the condition of the house.  I just wanted to see it from the front as none of the photos showed a front view (only a side view of the porch).  I know how far it is from UT; that is fine.  I understand that you are protecting the security of the house, but I find it a little odd because I have already sent you so much information about myself and I still can't know the address. 

The keyboard is 51" by 15" and I like to play it to de-stress.  As I have already been without it the two years I have lived abroad I am looking forward to having it with me again.  

Are any of the tenants for this coming year renewing their leases from last year or all they all new to the house?  

Also, how would you describe your involvement with the house throughout the year?"  

I learned from the grad student that had lived with her that she lives in one of the houses she rents and lies that tenants return.  The only tenant that had returned was her SON and they would sit upstairs in her room all the time waiting to hear something "off" to run down and yell at the tenants.  She made chore charts and "emotionally abused" her tenants. She also doesn't give your deposit back, saying that you broke any number of her absurdly rigid rules.  The girl said she almost had to hire a lawyer, which is funny because turns out Ellen is a Lawyer.  Go figure.  When I looked her up online, her photo reminded me of the Elder in the new movie The Giver we were currently watching in my HS class.  It makes me shiver to think that I was so close to living under her oppression with no escape for a year.  

I also learned from the girl that she goes to the other houses down the street to check on them all the time... which is funny when you read her final email to me.  

Hi Moriah,
House address:
I guess you did think I was crazy. (What Irony)  Rightfully so!  The other montages I have on my hard drive actually have the photo of the front of the house on it.  I guess there just wasn't enough room without going onto another page for that particular montage I sent you to have the photo of the front of the house?.  I swear I thought it was on there, but when you said that, I checked and sure enough it wasn't!.  Beats me.  Sorry about that.   The address is .......
**She saw she was about to loose me for seeing through her guise and saw it as a safe bet to give me the address because I was not there anyway.  There's no way she "left it off" by accident when she is sooooo detailed.  

Current tenants:
The tenants in the house have been there 2 years and are all graduating or moving, etc.  So this group will be a new batch of roommates, which is usually a good situation, as there have been no routines formulated that new folks would have had to adjust to if some roommates remained and other new ones came in.

**I am sure this is a lie and the only reason she told me that address is because she knows I have no way to go by and talk to any of the current tenants.  

My involvement:
I stay as uninvolved as possible, except for when the gardening tasks occur at periodic times of the year or whenever something needs to be repaired, etc..  During the pre-lease period,  like  is happening now, there is a lot of communication when showing the house to prospective tenants.  At the beginning in August there is a Saturday meeting to go over key items after everyone has moved in.  At the end of the lease in July there are multiple times to meet when the tenants are preparing the house for the move out.  It is similar  with the other house.  What is the impetus for asking that question- is involvement perceived as positive or negative in your estimation?

**Here we are, back to the super creepy controlling tone.  

Regards,
Ellen

I kindly responded that I was going to continue my search.  

So, thank God for my friends who saved me from this woman who would have given me more of a return culture shock than I ever could have anticipated.  I am so grateful for their help and for a story that nobody could have invented with their wildest imaginations.  

Car Cleanliness and "Self Service Car Washes"

Yesterday, the topic of car washes came up with one of my adult students and I told him about self service car washes.  He freaked out!!! He couldn't believe the idea and kept saying how embarrassing it was.  He insisted that he would never do that and if I were his girlfriend he wouldn't be seen with me doing that.

He said, "What would people think?!  That you don't have enough money for someone else to wash your car?  It's like wanting to cook your own food at a restaurant."

I saw his point, but tried to explain that it wasn't weird in my culture to wash your own car at a place.  A lot of people don't have hoses at home and the water pressure is better at the place.  It saves water, too.  He said I was lying because he has seen that hoses say "made in the USA."  Hahahaha.

I just let it go as an impasse... but it still makes me laugh.  This seems so funny to me to freak out about something like this when I see such weird things happening here on a daily basis... like babies riding on the handle bars of a motorcycle.... or someone riding a bike with a mattress on one shoulder.

Culture!

He also asserted that people in the US have so much junk in their cars. At least in my case, this is true.  I laughed when I thought about the trunk of my old car and how someone could literally have been living out of it.  I told him what was in it and we laughed a lot.  It is true.... every car I have been in here has had nothing in it except what the person is currently transporting and the emergency kit.  Granted, most people I know don't have cars.... but, then again... the houses are like that as well.  There seem to be no random items.... not even a jar of pencils or sticky notes, or fridge magnets.  My friend once told me that my fridge magnets and notes made my house look very Gringa.

I wonder if I'll have learned to carry less junk around in my car through osmosis.  hahahahahah

The Language of Courtesy

I've been noticing, recently, how much courtesy is a part of the language here.  I don't know if it's a more inherent part of Spanish or if it is the Costa Rican culture itself that values this courtesy through language.

Whatever the source may be, it has definitely seeped into the way that I greet people, communicate, and write.  I'm glad for this.

Greetings and goodbyes are as essential if not more so than the actual task at hand.  If you don't greet someone before starting on with work, something is very wrong with you.  People over tasks.

If you are in the middle of a meeting and someone new walks in... they say good morning to everyone even if it interrupts whatever was happening.  That is still funny to me but I'm getting used to it.

The real inspiration for this entry, though, is that today I called American Airlines customer service and couldn't get through.  I think something was wrong with their phones.  I even tried calling their "Spanish number."  I would get so far through the menu and then it would drop me.  In the English menu, I found myself getting frustrated and anxious.  I was annoyed at the voice wanting me to tell him what I was calling about.

In contrast, when I interacted with the Spanish menu, I was calm.  I liked that the voice gave me options of what to say instead of leaving me a blank space to talk and then misinterpreting what I said to be something totally different like the English menu did.

This is so interesting..... why would the construction of the two menus for the same company be so different?  They weren't just a translation of each other... they were set up in totally different ways.  It was like the English menu gave complete independence of options while the Spanish one listed possible choices - "algo diferente" being my favorite.  When I tried to say "something else" with the English menu it thought I said vouchers and wanted a voucher number!

I also don't know if I was happier with the Spanish menu because I thought, well... at least I'm practicing Spanish instead of wasting my time....

I find that helps me get through a lot of potentially frustrating situations.  Now, the trick will be how to develop that same attitude towards situations while interacting in English.

Anyways, back to the point.  I finally talked with a really nice lady in English who encouraged me to write to AA to ask for a voucher for the ticket I never used in July.  I noticed in the email I wrote, as I have in several emails lately, that the tone of my writing is a lot more polite than it used to be.  It includes a lot more courtesy.  I'm sure that is a transference of my Spanish communication.

It will be so interesting to see just how much Spanish and living in this culture has changed and shaped the way I communicate and interact with the world.

I'm sure there will be many more stories to come.

When Co-Existing with Ants Goes Too Far

I like to coexist with the animals that live in my house, but sometimes that coexistence becomes an insect take over and I have to put my foot down (well, my sandal and some poison - actually).

The nice, peaceful, and large ants that walked around on my walls day after day decided to move in with all of their little white larval babies in their mouths.  That was it.  I had to take action.

So... the landlady came up and sprayed a little bit of "veneno" at the cracks they were entering and exiting.  All done, we thought, as she went back down to her house.

Not done.

About twenty minutes later, I walk back into my room and there are literally thousands of ants falling from the ceiling.  It is raining ants.  They are coming out of places I never even knew had openings.  Ants, jumping like parachuters, the little white babies in their mouths like the chutes that never opened.

I panic and start hitting them with a sandal as they run towards my bed and the kitchen.  They far outnumber the wrath of my sandal.

So.... I run for back up.  The land lady comes back like all is totally normal and just starts shooting the poison everywhere... including my toothbrush.

Here I am, freaking out, and she sweeps up the mound (not an exaggeration) of dead ants in her bare feet like she's washing dishes in the kitchen.

The ants and I no longer coexist.


Oh, and I forgot to mention that before this... another type of ant was eating my dirty clothes. Another reason we are no longer friends.

ant- proof engineering 

Yes We Can!!! (The Speaking English System)

Other super important systems that changed the dynamic of our class this year are the "Yes We Can" English speaking board, the participation cards, and the vocabulary journals.

Each week we have a goal of how many circles need to be left on the board at the end of class to earn a letter in "SUPRISE."  Each time a person speaks Spanish, I take a circle away from their name.  They each have 5 circles.  If they get down to 0 circles there is a challenge.  At the end of class, if we are only missing 6 circles as a group, for example, they earn a letter.  When it spells SURPRISE, we get to watch a movie in English - which really fuels more curriculum anyway so I still win :]  haha.

This system also includes the "Spanish Ball," which the students can ask to be thrown if they can't explain or ask something in English.

It is amazing what a classroom management technique this is because side talking is in Spanish.  When they loose a circle, they immediately get quite and start paying attention.  The rest of the group says... "Hey! Why you speaking Spanish!?"  To which I reply, "Why ARE you speaking Spanish." They're funny.

Another aspect of the system is participation.  Each student has a participation card and that serves as positive reinforcement for constructive behavior.  This could be helping someone, volunteering to read, asking a question, working on task...

It has totally shifted the working environment; if someone is off task and I give the person next to them a point, they often start working without me having to nag them.
*An important side note is that if they ask for points or whine I don't give them points.  Otherwise, you can imagine the chaos that would ensue.  If they lie and add their own points to the cards it will be dealt with as cheating and will have major consequences.  So far, so good.
**It is also important to clarify that when we started, they had already brainstormed goals and ways to work on these goals.  That way, when I brought the system to class I presented it as a tool to help them with their goals of speaking more English in class, etc.  It is important to remember the motivation so that it does not become just about extrinsic rewards and prizes.  I am always wary of extrinsic motivation, but if they don't have it internally I guess you have to start somewhere.

some brainstorming of strategies to learn English

The students with the most points at the end of each week get a ticket which they can use to redeem prizes from the treasure box.  They love the prizes soooo much - way more than I expected.

Trying on one of the prizes

She is collecting the stickers - three for each ticket
She gives the subject stickers to her teachers
She is participating so much more this year and is so much happier

Their favorite part of the week!

He holds it out and says, "Teacher, it's beautiful."
It's a squishy dolphin from the dollar store.
I love them.

The last strategy that has really helped our class is the vocabulary journal.  Whenever they ask me the meaning of a word, need a word to express themselves, or don't understand something I say or something they read... we add it to the left side of the board.  They know that all of these words go into their vocabulary journals which become our ongoing lists for "vocab murals - with graffiti art," quizzes, and weekly vocab review games.  

The most exciting part is hearing these words come up in conversations we have in and out of class... or seeing them look back at the vocab murals in search of a word they need to tell their stories.  They are building more with the tools they are developing and this makes me so proud.  

Ritual in the Classroom - "Roses and Spines"

Xiomara says I've "tamed the beast."

That makes me laugh.

It is incredible, though, how different my English class at the high school is this year than it was last year.  Last year, every day was a battle - a constant war to win trust, to get the kids wanting to learn English, to have them listen, to encourage them to participate on task...

The good days were few and far between.  I would leave after my class, thankful that it wasn't an all day gig.

This year, I have the same kids; we all moved up a level together.  This year,  I didn't have to start over.  We had a whole year of relationships built and I was still around.  I wasn't another transient teacher, only there for a few months until the class scared him or her off.

The biggest change, I think, is the use of ritual in the classroom.  I can not emphasize enough how important rituals seem to be in creating a respectful and productive learning environment; through the structure of ritual, freedom emerges.

It all started with "Roses and Spines."  Roses and Spines is an activity I borrowed from my friend at Seattle Children's Theatre and now use in all of my classes (including improv).  It allows us to start the day on the same page... to check in.  I get to hear how everyone's energy is and if we maybe need to do a "wake up" game or if someone's having a hard time because of something that happened the previous night.  They were, of course, resistant at first.

"Teacher.... Again?!  No....." they whined when they saw the agenda on the board.

Many of them also didn't want to share.  I decided this was ok and that maybe they would get more comfortable if I gave it space so I gave the option of saying "I don't have anything."

They did warm up and it only took a little over a week.  Suddenly, when I asked who wanted to start they would shout out, "Meeee, teacher! I want."

They started to have something to say right when they walked through the doorway.

It became normal.  It became comfortable.  It became a story telling sparker and a venue for advice giving.  It became the perfect tool for spontaneous daily English speaking.

I've even seen some poor attitudes improve after sharing.

Some kids still say they don't have anything, but maybe they don't.  I mean, maybe we don't have something to share everyday, right?  No pressure.  That way, when there is something... it's all the more valued.

One day we didn't do Roses and Spines because I wanted to get something accomplished in a short time. They were insane!!!!!  The energy was out of control and nobody would listen to each other. This just reinforces the idea that the ritual calms them and gets them ready for the day - much like one starts a yoga practice with focusing on an intention and the breath.

Putting My Pieces Together

It's kind of a weird concept, but I feel like my selves are fragmented.  Like there was the me before I came to Costa Rica and the me now.  The me now is afraid that moving back to the US will mean that I go back to the old me.  The version of myself that was more insecure, more anxious... basically more afraid.

I wonder if that's part of culture shock.  Whatever it is, it's an odd process to experience.  I need to stitch these pieces together.  I need to go back and collect my old self to be one with my current self. Maybe that's why April felt like a month of regression: re-living my old insecurities to clean them out. When you clean the house it looks a lot worse before it gets clean, right?

I want my future self to tell my current self that it is all ok.  That the change is good.  That each new experience brings new adventure and takes you to places you never imagined were possible.

I want my future self to sit down and have coffee with me and to tell me, "Look where we are now. I'm so glad you kept moving forward even when you were afraid... even when you had no idea where the path would lead.  Isn't the journey beautiful?"