Difficult Conversations - Speak Your Mind, Even if Your Voice Shakes

I remember this quote that my drama teacher had hanging on the wall above her desk when I was 15. 

Difficult conversations are uncomfortable and something I'm working at getting better at.  It's always been scary for me - asserting myself and expressing what I need. 

Here are some examples of difficult conversations I have had recently that I'm proud of: 

1.  I talked with the family I rent from to ask them if they could please hang out somewhere other than the kitchen after 10pm... as it is soundwise, like being inside my bedroom.  There's only screen separating the rooms. 

2.  I called a mother of a student to discuss how her daughter didn't bring the full class payment, when I considered just letting it go. 

3.  I stood up for myself when a student was canceling every class... even though she got mad and stopped taking classes, I felt better about not being disrespected in this way. 

4.  I talked to the manager of the café where I had the allergic reaction.  I almost left when I saw he was in a meeting, but instead I got up the courage to say excuse me and explain to him the Tuna was bad so somebody else wouldn't get sick.  He offered me a free lunch, which I have to admit I ate with a little fear :] 

These all might sound like little things.... but sometimes, little things are big. 

Weirdness of the Week - Episode Interrupted

1.  I walked by a group of homeless men this morning who seemed to be playing a game in a circle.  The game consisted of them hitting each other with their baseball caps... I couldn't guess anymore rules of the game than that.  They were laughing and enjoying themselves, though. 

2.  Two days ago, I was riding the little water taxi over to the school in Cocal where I do my drama group.  As the boat pulled out to make the 2 minute journey across the mangrove a fishing boat floated up.  The women on my boat asked how much the giant fish they just caught was.  They handed it over to her and she held it by the mouth as we continued our journey.  There was no money exchange.... maybe she has an account with them :]   It struck me that this is not something one would see in a normal commute to work. 

3.  I walked by a little neighborhood store - "pulperia" it's called - and there was a cat sitting on the counter where the person passes you your food.  Another rarity.

4.  You'll be watching TV and all of a sudden this stock obituary music comes on and there are a few funeral announcements for the day. I wonder if one pays for it like a commercial for the funeral or if those people are more important in some way...

**** I interrupt this post to tell a story****

I was sitting in a café writing this post when all of a sudden, I had a crazy allergic reaction to tuna.  I was having trouble thinking and my heart was beating fast.  I felt feverish and my head hurt.  I felt anxious, but just thought maybe I was sensitive to coffee that day or that I was getting sick.... I continued writing this blog until the owner of the yoga studio I write for walked up and told me that I looked sunburned and asked me if I was ok.  I looked down at my chest and saw how red I was.   She told me that this had happened to her when she ate tuna one day and that she went to the hospital.  She is a natural healer.... so that seemed extreme. 

I packed up my computer and walked to the Spanish school where the people who work there are like my family.  I walked in, told my friend what was happening and plopped down behind the reception desk.  I felt like I was going to faint.  She sat with me on the floor until another friend came in and sat with me.  She went to the bank and called her boss to ask if she could leave early to take me to the clinic. 

Luckily I started getting better so we didn't go.  I just laid on the floor there behind the desk watching youtube videos with them for a few hours until my friend could go home.  She took me to her house and took care of me for the rest of the night.  :] 

I am so grateful to have such good caring friends here.

I researched, later, what could have happened and it turns out there's this histamine that lives on Tuna that sometimes increases in number after the tuna dies.  Cooking doesn't even kill them.  Needless to say, I don't think I'll be eating tuna for a while - if ever.  It was so scary.  It felt like it was neurologically affecting me.  My cheeks even felt numb and I got really cold and then really hot.  I couldn't process.... but I could still speak Spanish..... hahahah. 

************** Ok, back to the blog - where I left off last Friday ***********

5.  Boys in the Girls bathroom - Apparently this is not as weird as I think it is based on my cultural understandings.  Boys at the high school just walk into the girls bathroom to wash their hands if it's closer.  A boy in the US would never even get close to the girls bathroom!!!!! "Jamás (y queso)" - a joke in Spanish with some of my friends!!!!  Also, the male maintenance guy can clean the bathroom while I'm peeing.... and it's not weird at all.  I remember males not even entering a bathroom to clean if anybody at all was in there back home. 

6.   I has been Christmas since the beginning of October.  Like I said before, after September 15th - independence day - there's no holiday to hinder the coming of Christmas.... so, let it go!!! 

A book store in San Jose on October 11th

The office of the HS

The cleaning lady at the HS :]  So cute!

7.  This is not as weird as it is lovely and sweet.  The 11th graders - seniors - at the high school today started their really important exams (bachillerato).  Before they started, the whole school and all of the teachers gathered on the soccer court to wish them well.  They stood in a circle and prayed and said how they were good leaders.  After, everyone hugged them.  It was moving to see this sense of community and support for a HS exam.  I'm glad I got to see that.  

Until the next weirdness...... :] 

The Day "Hola" Gave Me Away

Some days it just feels like my Spanish is so bad.  My tongue gets tied and I stutter.  Words come out with the wrong vowel sounds and it's like I never learned the basic rules of grammar.... verbs like gustar throw me off and I forget whether the most common words I use day to day are feminine or masculine.

The longer I am here, the more frustrating this feels.  Why do I have lapses like this?

This afternoon, I was just walking down the street and an obnoxious young man yelled "hola" at me in a cat calling manner out of a store front.  I said "hola" back.  Then, he retorted - "oh.... hellllooooooo."

Was my "hola" really that bad that he knew to switch to English?  

Uhhh.  One of those days. 

Bulla

Bulla = noise.  Right now it is the bane of my existence.  I know that sounds extreme, but I have been tolerating the shrieking and antics of the 20 something year old brothers that live in the house in front of me for a while now.  After being woken up in the middle of the night almost every day to them charging at each other, knocking into walls, giggling.... I have had about all I can take.

Since I have moved to Costa Rica I have tolerated:

A dog that would howl all night at anyone who would pass the house.... or I don't even know what he was barking at.
The construction of a building 10 meters from my window every morning from 6am on (Saturday, too).... that included a lot of metal grinding.
Semi Trucks, motor bikes and cars without mufflers zooming past my window ridiculously fast and extremely loud.
Fireworks for the entire two months that are Christmas here...
And now... 20 something year old brothers who act like imbeciles.

I'm tired :[

But, in looking for a new place to live today I learned something funny.  I called this woman on the phone and she told me her house is after "el ultimo muerto" - the last dead person.... I was like, ok... and acted like I knew what she was talking about.  I knew there must be something I was missing.

As soon as I got off the phone I texted a friend who laughed and explained to me that this was a speed bump.  And imagine me.... walking around a neighborhood looking for a dead person!  jajajaja

Always learning new things...

Decepcionada

Decepcionada - Dissappointed.... 

The word decepcionada sounds so much better to me, though.  It really captures the feeling of almost being deceived by a situation and the hurt that comes from that.

It was the only word I could think of after I showed up to the rehearsal for my improv group... and was the only one there.

I don't understand why in a country where there is a whole RAINY SEASON, why rain is an excuse to not go somewhere important.   Also, why do some people not have umbrellas?  It's not a surprise that it is going to rain..... And it's not that they don't have the money.... Some things I don't think I'll ever understand.  Also, why people are always out of minutes to call or text you back... and how that is also a valid excuse. 

This is the note that I wrote them later than night on FB:

Chicos, tengo que decirles que estoy decepcionada que absolutamente nadie llegó hoy. Yo sé que estaba lloviendo y que estan en examenes y todo eso.... pero tampoco me dijeron que no podian venir. Solo Anebis me respondió asi - quiero agradecerle por eso.
Para mi, no me importa el show - que presentamos o no.... lo que me molesta es la falta de compromiso del grupo y la falta de respecto de mi tiempo. Si decimos que vamos a hacer algo, hay que hacerlo. Hemos trabajado mucho estos meses y estamos listos para presentar.
Obviamente no vamos a presentar mañana. Por su puesto todos estan invitados a ayudar con la obra mañana como siempre. El sabado hablamos del futuro de este grupo.

I'm more over it now and it must not have been meant to be.  "Dios no lo quiso."  I know that improv has benefits whether or not there is ever an audience involved.  And, at least I didn't have to hike through the mountains for 2 hours or over a rickety bridge to get there.  All I had to do was get my feet wet in the rain.  

The Yoga Studio I Write For

Check out the article I wrote for the yoga studio :]



http://www.spaholis.com/aerial-yoga-works-defying-gravity-spa-holis-costa-rica/

Performing with Less and Less Rehearsals - Children's Day and the Anti Drug Campaign

Who says you need to rehearse to be in a play?  JAJAJAJA!  (that's laughing in Spanish).







For Children's Day on September 9th, the theatre went on tour to perform "El Cemeterio de los Libros Olvidados."  We went to two elementary schools.  So, now I can say I have acted in an International Children's Theatre Tour, right?

The funny part is that I only had one rehearsal before performing.  I rehearsed with my friend, Ramona,... who helped me to summarize the meaning of chunks of lines so that I could improv within the chunks.  Then, I rehearsed for like 10 minutes with the other actor, Alexis.

I was still learning my lines in the van on the way to the school, but somehow I did it!  And the kids had so much fun :]  I just played big, interacted with the audience, and was as silly as possible.  Success.  Definitely improvising a script in Spanish was a big "reto."

Then, it got even crazier.  I showed up to an anti-drug event at a school where the vice president of Costa Rica had even come to talk.... and the theatre wanted me to join in the play they were about to perform.  No rehearsal!!!! I mean, I only had like 3 lines, but still.  We didn't end up performing, though, because one of the actors had to go to work because the event was taking so long.  That in itself is odd to me; they rehearsed for like two weeks only to not perform at the event.  No big deal.





We did perform that play, though, the next weekend for PANI (the child protective services).  I did perform then, still without rehearsing.

These experiences will definitely go on the list of things I never thought I would do.

Also, I think it's fun that Children's Day means a big party at school with dancing and a trampoline.  Note the trampoline in the back.  Both schools we went to had rented one for the day.