Difficult Day at Cocal

Yesterday was a difficult day at Cocal - the elementary school where I started a drama program. 

The two special education teachers who help me run the class weren't there, but I went anyway because the play date is coming and I didn't want to loose the time.

I guess the kids didn't feel that time crunch, because they wouldn't do anything.  They had zero energy and kept saying things like, "que pereza" and "que aburrido."  (how lazy and how boring).  Even practicing the one we created last week.... they would have none of it.

So, I told them that if they weren't going to put in any effort there was no need for me being there and I would leave.  So, that's what I did.  I left... but I tried to do it without anger or hard feelings.  I simply told them that we were done for the day and that I would see them next time.

Afterwards, I was beating myself up... thinking thoughts like:
You should be able to handle the class by yourself... you're an experienced teacher.
and.... Why can't you motivate them?
and.... Why doesn't the project of producing their own stories capture their attention?
and... Why is your Spanish still not good enough that they respect you when you talk sternly to them?

And then I remembered...

Just that day, one girl shared that her positive thing to share of the week (her rose) was that she and her two friends were going to pass fifth grade.  Her thorn was that they were the only three.

I couldn't believe that it is more common in this school to stay in your same grade than to move on.

And I thought about how when I got on the little boat to leave back to Quepos, the director was getting off... carrying a door and chicken wire.  I helped him carry the door to the school.  The director..... carrying the door to the school....

I guess my class wasn't that difficult after-all.  We may not have much to present when the show date arrives, but at least the kids show up and are doing something productive/creative with their time.  Who knows what the lasting impacts could be....? 

Also, today I went back just to visit and go to the "special education party"  which in itself is a weird story that you would never see in the US.  It was like nothing ever happened yesterday.  They all hugged me and I gave them just as much love as if they had all won Tony Awards the day before.  After all, they're more important than any play or activity we could be doing.  And today, that was enough.